Metalhead Mammal Gifts

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

Motorherd

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

Santa Metal Claus

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

Now play some Metallica!

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

'...it's a robots staple diet.'

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

Musical Mestizo.

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

'Air guitar 101.'

'Do Katie's braces count as 'precious metals'?'

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

And then, right in the middle of a Warrant/Winger double bill, Rob Myers becomes the first person in history to actually have his socks rocked off.

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Future Opera

One night, Albert got haunted by a Heavy Metal demon.

'...Here's another heavy metal wake up call for you!'

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"I thought it was just a phase, but now that he's in his 40s I'm not so sure!"

"...Even Death himself went through a 'Glam Reaper' phase."

No, I'm afraid I don't know any songs in the death metal genre.

"Funny, I never did it for the money. I just always wanted to make T-flanges."

'Just which heavy metal did you say Edwards is researching?'

Destroying Music Speakers.