Metalhead Adventurer Gifts

Pit of Death

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Needs to get a life"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Motorherd

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Halo Frisbee.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

2pm meet your Creator

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.