Metalhead At Heart Gifts

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

Motorherd

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

Superheroes League. Just to avoid an argument, don't refer to Superman as "The Man of Steel" in front of Iron Man.

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

Santa Metal Claus

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

'Air guitar 101.'

'Yes, I'm sure my pockets are empty.'

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

And then, right in the middle of a Warrant/Winger double bill, Rob Myers becomes the first person in history to actually have his socks rocked off.

"Mainly we supply material for nuclear reactors, electronics and costume jewelry."

Man who works at a magnet company finds his briefcase attracted to the briefcase of the man who works at the scrap metal company.

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

Future Opera

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"I thought it was just a phase, but now that he's in his 40s I'm not so sure!"

"Funny, I never did it for the money. I just always wanted to make T-flanges."

Author who wants his novel pierced.

"...Even Death himself went through a 'Glam Reaper' phase."

'...Here's another heavy metal wake up call for you!'

No, I'm afraid I don't know any songs in the death metal genre.

One night, Albert got haunted by a Heavy Metal demon.

Metal Defective.

'Just which heavy metal did you say Edwards is researching?'

'Hah, now I see the source of your pain, Mr. Wilk. It's this metal filling.'

Ozzy Osbourne