Metalhead Parent Gifts

'...Here's another heavy metal wake up call for you!'

Motorherd

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

Santa Metal Claus

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

Now play some Metallica!

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

Musical Mestizo.

'Air guitar 101.'

'Son, I think you're old enough now to know about the birds and the fleas.'

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

Pram for baby giraffe

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

And then, right in the middle of a Warrant/Winger double bill, Rob Myers becomes the first person in history to actually have his socks rocked off.

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

Future Opera

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"...Even Death himself went through a 'Glam Reaper' phase."

"I thought it was just a phase, but now that he's in his 40s I'm not so sure!"

No, I'm afraid I don't know any songs in the death metal genre.

One night, Albert got haunted by a Heavy Metal demon.