Metalhead Investor T-Shirts

'Yes sir, both your precious metal and heavy metal investments are doing well.'

Motorherd

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

Santa Metal Claus

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

Musical Mestizo.

'Air guitar 101.'

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Future Opera

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'...Here's another heavy metal wake up call for you!'

One night, Albert got haunted by a Heavy Metal demon.

"...Even Death himself went through a 'Glam Reaper' phase."

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"Funny, I never did it for the money. I just always wanted to make T-flanges."

"I thought it was just a phase, but now that he's in his 40s I'm not so sure!"