Metabolic Musing Fans Pillows

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

Football fans in corona times

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

Fruits and vegetables

"It's our most effective diet plan - Hugo, here, follows you around with a stomach pump!"

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.

Your karma will catch up with you!

Devil paints God.

Energy speculation.

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'

'Do you want to talk about that? ... Do you want to talk about that? ... Do you want to talk about that? ... '

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

"You have a strong interest in sports."

"This pose is excellent preparation for all those times when you have to stand on one foot with your arms above your head."

Tempting Angels

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

'Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on.'

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

When the Tooth Fairy takes her obsession with teeth a little too far.

'I'm your designated 'Reaping Manager'. . . I'm here to discuss your DEATH. . . It's all part of our 'Forward Facing Client Engagement Strategy.''

"This is WYOU the station that broadcasts your thoughts live all day long..."