Message Master Pillows

'Oh Charles! I didn't think you were in. I have something important to tell you and I wanted to leave a message.'

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"What's a debenture?"

Face painting.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Text Culture

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Target your message

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Happy now?'

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

Communication Breakdowns