Message Master Gifts

'Oh Charles! I didn't think you were in. I have something important to tell you and I wanted to leave a message.'

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"What's a debenture?"

Face painting.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Text Culture

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

Target your message

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

'This is my natural habitat.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

Communication Breakdowns

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"