Mess Wrangler Gifts

Cornered

'Of course I'm not mad. What makes you think I'm mad?!'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

Flies up the ante!

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

A Visit From The Procrastination Muse

"Trying to unclutter my life by reducing busyness is taking up all my free time!"

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

Parental Training Course

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

'Can I see your license,please?'

"Wait a minute - I know there's something we've forgotten to worry about."

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"I handle chatty people for him."

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"Can we forget about our dainty little tracks in the snow for five seconds and try to concentrate on what we're out here for?"

'Are you SURE you didn't invite the Brownes around for supper?'

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."