Merry Motormouth Gifts

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Moo-Magrams Exams

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

Everything for a buck.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Rudolph Red Light District

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

I see relations between Dylan and Daisy are at a all time low!

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

'I've been here so often, they keep a room reserved for me.'

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

"All in favour say 'ouch'."

'No, your wife wasn't wearing clean underwear. She wasn't wearing any underwear at all.'

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

"In my day, this was our fidget spinner."

Merry and Bright!

"Her name's Snuggles."

'With all I've learned about psychology recently, establishing who's naughty and who's nice is not as simple as it used to be.'

"This is Harold. . . He's in charge of office merriment."

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

Robin Hood wished his men were a bit less merry.

"Why do you keep saying I have the right to remain silent."

"I prefer sawn-off arrows. They double up as knitting needles for the wife.2

'Look there - the legendary Reindeer cemetery!'

'When he completed his medical history on the new patient form he decided that he was okay.'