Menu Translator T-Shirts

"You can do business anywhere... as long as you can speak their menu."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Is the MSG local?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Party time.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Coffee

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee Menu

"....and hold the garlic."

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."