Menu Options Observer T-Shirts

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"Is the MSG local?"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Fast Food Menu Selections

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

"....and hold the garlic."

'Whatever he's eating.'