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Restaurant. Special: Fricken Chicassee. The chef shouldn't write the special when he's angry.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Menu Dating

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Party time.

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Jerry Lordan

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

Angel playing music

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"This next tune is dedicated to my wife, who is currently away on a cruise. I call it, 'The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea'."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Carb or non-carb section?'

"...on the avenue..."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chops

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"

Cafe Philosophique