Menu Mastermind T-Shirts

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Is the MSG local?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Kitchen Kapers

Party time.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

National Coffee Day

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'Our problem is, we do more blamestorming than brainstorming.'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

I don't like the looks of this.

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

Schoolboy with lunch box.