Menu Enthusiasts Pillows

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Life is for the birds.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'How is the water prepared?'

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'