Menu Lover Pillows

'Sorry - today's 'wild card special' was rained out.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Is the MSG local?"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Baker Romance

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"....and hold the garlic."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"