Menu Dish Pillows

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Is the MSG local?"

Menu Dating

Party time.

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'How is the water prepared?'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

What's the insect de jour?

A menu with risks and benefits

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

Uh

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Try our frogs' legs

'Carb or non-carb section?'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"