Menus Pillows

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

"Get a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, put your feet up, and listen to our menu options."

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

National Coffee Day

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee Menu