Reading Menus Pillows

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Party time.

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

National Coffee Day

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"....and hold the garlic."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

What's the insect de jour?

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

A menu with risks and benefits

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'