Mental Traveler Gifts

"I'd let you in, but I'm not sure I'm all here today"

'Please note, I'm here in name only. My mind is physically located elsewhere.'

'What is it, Harold. You seem to be distracted.'

The Map of the human brain

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

X-ray Psychology.

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I don't really analyse dreams. I analyse why you think your dreams are worth analysing.'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

A man walks on the sidewalk trailing thought bubbles behind him.

You're bottling things up, aren't you?

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"Physically I'm in New York, Emotionally. . .I'm somewhere in the south of Florida."

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

Brain Sunrise

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Avoid hungry bears."

Guru Greg's Soul Repair

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

Free WiFi

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

'Somewhere with good karma.'

Therapist. The first step in therapy is acknowledging your issues, or as I like to call it, "baggage claim."

People looking worried, sad and angry wait at the Emotional Baggage Carousel

'Couldn't you plant your tree before you fly?'

"The meaning of life? To be honest, I haven't given it much thought."

'I've been working on my asceticism and self-denial for twenty years now -- could I go down to Las Vegas to test them?'

'6… 5… and down we go, deeper and deeper. Your body's getting heavier and heavier, relaxing even more now, with every breath that you take. 4…'

"Do you ever get off that branch?"