Mental Presence T-Shirts

Here but not in...

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"Maybe this isn't the right heartless monolithic corporation for you."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

Yogi back in 5.

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Analyst and patient

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

"Tell me more about the voices in your neck."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

When psychiatry works too well!

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."