Mental Market Player T-Shirts

"Those little voices in your head, Mr. Dunlevy. . . are they passing on any insider trading tips?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

Prawn Amend

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

'Profit in the garbage.'

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

'Supply' and 'Demand' arm wrestle keeping the 'Industrial real estate market' steady

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

Psychologist to patient: 'I'm afraid there's still not a lot we know about choking over 2-inch putts.'

'After I bought those stocks of Chinese companies, I felt greedy again in an hour.'

Investments: Buy local! Our 'Value' funds are all New York values.

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

"I have good news on your investment portfolio. There's nowhere to go but up."

'It's a glorious day over Wall Street today, with barely a 20 chance of the sky falling.'

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'