Mental Health Guru Pillows

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Self help acupuncture

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

National Academy of Sport

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Keep Fit.

Congratulations on the new you!

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy