Mental Health Commentator Pillows

Non-Invasive Psychiatry: No Probing Questions Asked

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

It's A Breeze

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"Emotional Support Horses Welcome"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Take a pill so you won't be one.

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."