Mental Health Counselor Gifts

Identity Crisis Support Group

'Your problems are caused by all-or- nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems.'

"Luckily the days are long gone when we just labeled people as "mad"'

"Lots of people talk to themselves..."

"See? No one's in the closet. It was just a dream. Your boss isn't out to get you."

How To Get Up and Get Dressed

Bi-polar bear: 'Woo hoo! I feel great! On the other hand...life is essentially bleak...'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

Self-assertive class.

"You must learn to let go."

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you help me?'

'Buy Grimbalto for depression. (side effects include headaches, paranoia, thoughts of suicide and depression.'

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"It probably wouldn't work."

First case of obsessive compulsive disorder: Lady Macbeth

'One owner. Couldn't handle the payments.'

'The first step was admitting I didn't really have a problem.'

'You're suffering from a rare condition called 'chameleon syndrome'.'

"Do I take it you're still suffering from SAD?"

Man to patient on couch: 'I'd like to help, but I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm an upholsterer.'

'I've been treating you for months -- Has your memory shown ANY improvement?', 'Who wants to know?'

Goldilocks seeks help for her perfectionism. Psychiatry. Not everything has to be "just right."

'People find me boring, Doc'

Dog Psychiatrist: 'So how long have you had this unhealthy aversion to drinking from the toilet?'

How to rid yourself of doubt (or should you?)

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

'Well, here we are at last.'

"Can I get back to you? I'm getting a call from my worry-coach."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I get rattled too easily.'

Stress Clinic: 'Stepped out to smell the roses.'

"Oh, it's not depression. It's charmingly accurate worldview."