Mental Health Conversationalist Gifts

'OK! I'LL talk!'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

America, are we learning anything?

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I didn't spark joy."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Window Treatment

The new normal

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'