Memory Lapse Humorist Gifts

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Peter

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"International travel accessories, 2025 Passport covers Hey, isn’t Canada a lovely country? Even if I'm from the US Luggage tags Dear World, We are very sorry about how the U.S. is acting lately. Phrasebook I did not vote for him. Yo no voté por él. The tariffs are really stupid. Los aranceles son realmente estúpidas. We don’t really want to invade your country. Realmente no queremos invadir su país."