Memory Champions Gifts

"The only reason he can remember what he had for lunch yesterday, is because it's still in his lap."

'Me, I'm here for perjury: I said I couldn't remember while under oath...'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

'I've got it written down...'

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'

Animal and Human Memory

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

Hi again

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

How to Improve Your Memory Seminar.

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

Amnesiacs Convention.

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"