Memory Coach Gifts

'I want you to help me recover my repressed memories -- I keep forgetting the multiplication table.'

'I'm awful with names, but I never forget a fez.'

"Oh yes, that reminds me...no, hang on, it's gone again."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"I don't know who you are!"

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

"How can anyone remember Cheech and not remember Chong?"

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

'I've got it written down...'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"So you packed everything everything but the tent!"

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

"My memory's not too good these days."

"Thanks, I'll write that down."

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

Middle-aged people spend a lot of time looking for things that they have 'lost'.....

"Sorry I'm late. I forgot the PIN number I need to get my brain going."

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

'I'm terrible with names - what's mine?'

'How come you keep forgetting when it's your round?'

"How's your memory?"

'Oh darn........I forgot The Alamo!'

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

'Me, I'm here for perjury: I said I couldn't remember while under oath...'

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.