Memorial Service Gifts

'I wanted a burial service, he wanted cremation, so I decided to compromise and have him clambaked.'

"One more - Billy wasn't crying."

"His last request was that we close the casket before you begin."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

Gravesite has QR code on tombstone

"Well, finally! Gracefully aging no more."

"He adored that old car !"

"It was what he wanted... only cheaper"

Pope John Paul II 1920-2005.

Remembering All The American Idols.

'We couldn't pry the remote control out of his hand.'

"You couldn't put on a nice a tie?"

'You can't take it with you means your cellphones too.'

One angel watches as another angel plays the harp.

"John McCain stuck to his convictions...did what was right even when it was contrary to his party - just like..."

"The death of a businessperson is especially sad."

"I scattered her ashes. Then I changed my mind."

Headstone: "A lifetime of averageness interspersed with flashes of sheer mediocrity."

'His pace maker's lasting longer than he did.'

"Mother always wanted her ashes scattered at the grand canyon. It's quite breezy here isn't it?"

"She died peacefully surrounded by her 10,000 followers."

'They always say such nice things about the departed at funerals, it's a pity they're not able to hear them.'

He passed away watching his favorite show...the Three Stooges

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

Edward P. Whitcomb: a grumbling, whiny mediocrity mistakenly born into the greatest generation.

"He looks just the way he did in life."

"I spread his ashes at the park, but the storm must have blown his ashes all over town by now!"

Edward Rauh, Auctioneer: Going, going, gone!

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

A grave with an anchor and periscope

Death of the cook

www.TedBdead.com

Cricketer's funeral

'He could never resist taking an opposing position on an old saying...'