Memorial Maintainer Gifts

Cleaning act.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Forget what?'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

Veterans Day '20

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Statue fishing.

"He was always loyal and insisted on being buried with his stilts..."

You are not forgotten!

"He didn't do squat for cats."

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'Remember 'back in the day'. . . about 15 minuted ago.'

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

He said nothing about being cremated before his remains were scattered on the pitch.

"We prefer to remember him the way he was, before he passed the bar."

War HeroWar Exit Strategy Hero.

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

"He's still in therapy."