Memorial Master Gifts

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

Man with post it note

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

All we have in life is this moment...

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'I apologize for sending out the meeting memo late. Let me summarize by saying that the entire board is being replaced starting tomorrow.'

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

"Ever since I started Yoga, I don't freeze up as much."

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)