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Possible Titles For My Upcoming Autobiography

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Fifty Shades of Gray

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

'I've read your manuscript-it's a miracle you survived all the booze, sex, and drugs while on your world tour, but are you sure you want it published during an election year senator?'

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Andrea Leadsom's memoirs

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

Eva Schloss

Cat reading Rommel biography.

Romy Schneider

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

'The toughest things to deal with are a new, charismatic opponent and a former colleague's memoirs.'

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."