Memer Extraordinaire Gifts

Tweet duel.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

Teenage Angst.

The Web is mightier than the sword.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

"Don't forget to click 'Reply All.'"

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"The transcranial magnetic stimulation headband lets me feel my victims' suffering."

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

"I kind of did my maths homework... I worked out that if I was going to watch TV and play a video game, I wouldn't have time to do any homework."

"It's from eBay! I won a cigarette lighter for a 1964 Chevy Impala. I make my dreams come true one bid at a time."

"Maybe I'm too good a mentor."

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

Clown silencers.

Bottom-Feeders

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'Dude, I think your memory card is full.'

"If they're advanced enough to come all the way here, I'm sure they have the technology to charge our phones."

Frank Lloyd Wright

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

In need of a wash...

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

'I'm not sure I like Billy playing video games so much!'