Meme Maestro Pillows

"Sorry, guess I didn't get the email, the DMs, the Snaps, the Facebook comments, the LinkedIn messages, or the TikTok duets."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Twitter censorship

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

"I'm in charge of social media for my firm."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

Adam with a selfie stick

Surgical intervention on Emoticons

"I created a meme that merges history of religion with a challenging philosophical question... ...and most people respond with variations of 'Man, that's f'd up.' "

"He once hoped to write the great American novel. Now it's the great American internet meme."

'I don't think Santa appreciates you posting online pictures of him stuck in the chimney.'

"Last month, I offended 367 people on social media..."

"Oh, he's in the shed musing on the differences between algorithms and memes."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

Twitter vs Threads

"Textin’"

"You've got Meme's Disease."

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

"Wait, do you guys have a separate text thread that doesn't include me?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Moo Out Loud

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'A few messages came in during your lunch break.'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Children playing in the street