Melody Meets Casino T-Shirts

Traditional piano player is infact playing a fruit machine

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Caught in the Music

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

"Harold, not only was it perfect, It was perfectissimo!!"

"I find it comforting to have Off-Broadway plays in the background."

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

'Necessity is the mother of invention. It's just a pity Buxtehude didn't encounter a bit more necessity.'

A dog banging a snare drum.

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

'Quick, pen and paper! The muzak has brought poetry bubbling to the surface!'

Melody Cockroach.

Romance Music

An affair to remember.

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

Saxophone summoning.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'Okay, now try it in the gear of 'D'.'

"Rats! It's already tenderized."

"I'm afraid you can't speak to the Chef at the moment, sir. He's out, buying you a, 'get well soon' card."

Singing Doctor

Romantic Music

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

'I've written a love song about big dividend - playing stocks.'

Violin Pipe

'We've had our starter and to follow we'd like to order an ambulance!'

Benjamin Britten.

"This song is very difficult for me, emotionally. Plus, the chords are hard."