Meditative Market Players Gifts

"I came up here to meditate...but I do a little stock trading on the side."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Oh, crap.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

Nervous Buddha

'When I need to think better, I just step outside.'

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Pray it Don't Spry it.

His investment advisor gave him a new mantra.

Man is pulled in all directions.

Unchanged … and yet completely changed. Tao Jones Indexes.

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'I have been searching my soul to find the real reason why I ended up here and one answer in particular keeps turning up.'

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

Bob had trouble connecting with nature, whereas nature seemed to have no trouble at all connecting with Bob.

'I'm here to test the magic 8-ball.'

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

'Embrace nonviolence!', 'I don't see how THAT'S going to help.'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'