Market Meditation Enthusiast Gifts

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Work/Life Balance

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Zenemies.

Meditation

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

The power of now

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"How long have I had what problem?"

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'