Market Meditation Enthusiast Gifts

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Work/Life Balance

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

My God, I need to fart.

Zenemies.

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

Meditation

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

The power of now

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."