Medieval Geek Pillows

Passworded Chastity Belts

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Knight feeding his kids.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

TV jester.

"The knights of the round accent table"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Joust Sharpener

"What the hell took so long?"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Knights of the bedside table.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Beard in the Stone

underwater knight

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'