Medieval Geek Mugs

Passworded Chastity Belts

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"What the hell took so long?"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Joust Sharpener

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh great, the printer is down."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Knights of the bedside table.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

underwater knight

The Beard in the Stone

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'