Medieval History Nerd Pillows

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Joust Sharpener

"I find that hugely offensive!"

TV jester.

"What the hell took so long?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Knights of the bedside table.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

underwater knight