Medieval Arts Gifts

Monk Jokes

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Knight Golfing

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"He's his own worst enemy."

Swiss army knife

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Hildegard von Bingen

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"The knights of the round accent table"

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

Missing You.

Knights of the bedside table.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...