Medieval Arts Pillows

Monk Jokes

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Knight Golfing

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Swiss army knife

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

Hildegard von Bingen

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

Missing You.

Knights of the bedside table.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.