Medieval Armor Gifts

Sunburn.

'I get rattled too easily.'

Boxer with a suit of armour on.

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Knight Golfing

"Early model of baggage claim"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

Missing You.

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"But I use all of them!"

Knights of the Square Table.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

"One of you go see who's at the door."

Medieval King

Lovers

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'