Medicolegal Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Although it's nothing serious, let's keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't turn into a major lawsuit."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Happy Birthday to you.

"Bailiff."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Time for your pills.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Gross."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Long shift?'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"We make crime pay."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.