Medicolegal Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Although it's nothing serious, let's keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't turn into a major lawsuit."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Bailiff."

Happy Birthday to you.

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Time for your pills.'

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"Gross."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"We make crime pay."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'