Medico-legal Enthusiast Pillows

'Her husband? No, I'm her lawyer.'

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

'My lawyer will now notify you of my diagnosis!'

"Yeah, I heard this guy is so obsessed with malpractice suits he wears legalese all the time."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Little doctor.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

Wal-Mart Ruling

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Parts Department

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Violent Crime Statistics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Lady Justice.