Medico-legal Minds Pillows

'Do you have any family history of relatives who have sued doctors?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"Can you hear me now?"

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

Cankersaurus

'Her husband? No, I'm her lawyer.'

"First, admit no harm."

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only Google has those records."

I like a lot of witnesses around.

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

Attorney General John Ashcroft

Malpractice Specialist.

'Sign this notarised statement that you will not sue the NHS if you contract lung cancer, and the government will let you buy fags at half price.'

"Although it's nothing serious, let's keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't turn into a major lawsuit."

'Your insurance only covered the removal of the damaged organ...you'll have to put the transplant in yourself.'

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

"Yes, our cautiousness may be a bit excessive but we do have the lowest litigation rates in the industry."

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

'At last Igor finds a body with the appropriate consent form.'

The Harvest

'Of course his appetite's improved...it's the medical marijuana.'

"But apart from pay, conditions, stress, increased bureaucracy, recruitment problems, patient expectations, and violence...'

"I'm afraid he's lost his mind...do you know if he kept back-up?"

"Yeah, I heard this guy is so obsessed with malpractice suits he wears legalese all the time."

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"