Medico-legal Advisor Pillows

'At last Igor finds a body with the appropriate consent form.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

Lawn Lawyer

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Legalish

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"You don't have to answer that."

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'Let's run it through legal.'

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

"I hit him with a restraining odor and that was that."

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

Terms and conditions on the mount