Medicine Commentator Pillows

"If you could take just one medication, which medication would it be?"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Virtual Doctor

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Take a pill so you won't be one.

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

VACCINATION REFUSAL

'Under disclosure rules, I'm required to tell you I own stock in the company whose

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

The Visitor

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"And he can make 347,000 home visits in one night!"

Jugular Vein

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

'And now, this warning from the Surgeon-General... THINK FAST!'

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

'Yours is an elective surgery, so we're still deciding if we feel like doing it or not.'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

Obesity in America.

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

'Spin GP'

'We need to make cuts...shall we start with the heart?'

"Your intestinal flora looks good."

'Intensive and or expensive care?'

Hospital